My Secret Truth- Confessions From the Mother of a Sociopath

I'd rather my son had cancer, even terminal cancer.


As a mother, I never, ever thought I would say something like that, but it is my awful truth.


If he had contracted cancer as a teen instead of this personality disorder, then it would have been him and us fighting together against the cancer.  Instead, what we got was him turned sociopath, fighting against us and all that we hold dear.  And he was determined to infect all of the rest of us, particularly his younger siblings!


Even if it were terminal?  Yes!  If he had died as the boy we knew and loved, we would miss him desperately, but we would be at peace with knowing that he was in the loving arms of our Savior and that we would be together again someday.


As it stands, we desperately miss the boy that was once such an integral part of our family anyway.  We don't recognize this man-child that has tried so hard to tear this family apart.  We don't know this man that turned my husband's parents so viciously upon us.


If he had contracted a terminal illness, then he wouldn't be spending his days destroying the lives of innocent women and children, commiting armed robberies and home invasions.  He wouldn't have pulled his younger brother along with him into a life of drugs and crime.  If he had died while he was young, we wouldn't worry over his eternal salvation.


This is my truth.  Why would I share such a thing?  In hopes that you will come to peace with the awful truths that your sociopath has brought to your life. 

I would love to hear from you as we take this journey toward healing together.

I'm not the crazy one! Maintaining Your Sanity Despite a Sociopath.

I have found that the first step in surviving a sociopath is to repeat the mantra, “I’m not the crazy one!” 

Then  continually repeating it over and over and over and over… because the sociopath will be trying over and over to convince you and others that you are plumb crazy or the cause of all their woes.

Our son had been in prison for a year before we found the strength to visit.  We went with great trepidation for we were still healing from the many wounds he has left us with.  We also went with hope and a prayer in our hearts that we would find a boy who was finally starting to take responsibility for his actions. 

Alas, we were disappointed once more, as he again laid the blame for his conditions at our feet.  I found my stomach was in those old familiar knots and my mind was whirling with confusion.  I’d nearly forgotten how he could create such turmoil within. 

As we left the prison, we sucked in the cool fall air, savoring the taste of freedom.  We sat in the car and began to talk, trying to regain our mental and spiritual footing.  We reminded ourselves repeatedly that we couldn't possibly be the guilty party or we wouldn’t be  the ones free to leave that place. 

We knew we couldn’t go home to the other children in our current state of mind, but we found a little trip to Ikea for some retail therapy and Chocolate Overload Cake worked wonders.

Of course the best way to survive a sociopath is to avoid a sociopath, but that isn't very feasible when it's a close family member. 

How do you maintain your sanity? 

How do you not just survive, but thrive despite the sociopath in your life?