I have found that the first step in surviving a sociopath is to repeat the mantra, “I’m not the crazy one!”
Then continually repeating it over and over and over and over… because the sociopath will be trying over and over to convince you and others that you are plumb crazy or the cause of all their woes.
Our son had been in prison for a year before we found the strength to visit. We went with great trepidation for we were still healing from the many wounds he has left us with. We also went with hope and a prayer in our hearts that we would find a boy who was finally starting to take responsibility for his actions.
Alas, we were disappointed once more, as he again laid the blame for his conditions at our feet. I found my stomach was in those old familiar knots and my mind was whirling with confusion. I’d nearly forgotten how he could create such turmoil within.
As we left the prison, we sucked in the cool fall air, savoring the taste of freedom. We sat in the car and began to talk, trying to regain our mental and spiritual footing. We reminded ourselves repeatedly that we couldn't possibly be the guilty party or we wouldn’t be the ones free to leave that place.
We knew we couldn’t go home to the other children in our current state of mind, but we found a little trip to Ikea for some retail therapy and Chocolate Overload Cake worked wonders.
Of course the best way to survive a sociopath is to avoid a sociopath, but that isn't very feasible when it's a close family member.
I'm not close with any sociopaths, although I have a sociopathic cousin with whom I am not close, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences with the rest of us! I am posting the link to this blog in another forum to which I belong, in hopes that it will reach more people who may need this information, and who may perhaps be able to contribute their own survival techniques!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I so wish that I had had more support during the hell years, so I hope that those who can benefit from this blog will find it. I would love to have others share their lessons learned, because it's not over for us. When it's a family member who has it, it is, quite sadly, a life sentence for all involved.
ReplyDeleteI want to take a moment to state that I have wonderful friends who suffer with mental illness. They are good, dear friends and the term "crazy" would be terribly offensive in their cases. I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone with my chosen moniker, but there is a reason for it...
ReplyDelete"Crazy" is a term that sick people use for other people. Sociopaths use that word all the time against the innocent.
The reason I chose the name "notdacrazy1" is because it is the first message that must reach someone who is in the midst of a sociopath's hell, because the sociopath is doing everything in their power to convince them that they are plumb "crazy".
If we can help them understand that the sociopath is 'gaslighting' them, and that they are truly not "crazy", then they can start to crawl out of the hole that the sociopath has thrown them down into.