Monday, February 28, 2011

The Best Revenge Against a Sociopath

What do you think is the best revenge against a sociopath? 

One can lay awake nights plotting and planning the ultimate revenge, coming up with many creative versions of delicious fantasies, but in the end there would be no satisfaction in bringing the plan to fruition.  Instead, one would only find themselves reduced to being on the sociopath's level, and that is a place none of us want to go!

Revenge won't bring closure.  Revenge keeps you stewing in your juices and that is right where the sociopath wants you!  Why drag it out?  Why continue to be a victim by letting the sociopath remain in your thoughts?

It would be so much sweeter to make a clean break and move forward, but you cannot move ahead if you are busy getting even.
When I worked with a group of girls that had recently been removed from an abusive home, I repeatedly counseled them as to the best method of revenge.
As Arthur Schopenhauer said, "We can come to look upon deaths of our enemies with as much regret as we feel for those of our friends, namely, when we miss their existence as witnesses to our success." 
The best revenge against someone who has worked so hard to derail you and destroy you?  A life well lived.  There are few things they hate more than to see someone happy and that is just what you'll be if you put all of your energies into living your best life. 

How have you moved ahead and lived your best life?


  1. I know this to be true in theory, but oh is it so hard to practice! After nearly 2 years after divorcing my sociopath ex-husband, I still feel the waves of anger and dream of revenge. He found a new victim (an elderly sugar momma)who supports him financially. In spite of this, he has "forgotten" to pay me back nearly $29,000 he owes me (He promised to pay me back, and so far I've only received $1,000). I get so angry sometimes. I am struggling to pay off debt I allowed him to incur (I wish I knew then what I know now). I pray alot, but it is still so hard when He appears to be living a luxury, "kept" lifestyle.

  2. Wow. That is tough and so unfair. Try to remember though, that it is a facade. He is not in the least bit happy. His soul is in bondage, enslaved to keeping that woman appeased in order maintain his lifestyle.

    Although debt is enslaving, you can and will work it off and be free one day. Just remember that happiness isn't the final destination. It can be attained now, during the journey. You've been through hell and back and you deserve to move on and be happy.