Grieving and mourning aren't just for those that have lost a loved one to death. There are other ways to lose a loved one and the pain is just as real and possibly even more complicated.
For us, we lost our sweet little boy to sociopathy. It's not so different than losing a child to cancer, and yet it is, because the child is still around, but in a different form and causing trouble. We don't recognize or like the man he has become. We truly grieve that lost son.
Taking the time to mourn is absolutely essential when you are dealing with a family member that is a sociopath. They are self-destructing and likely trying to destroy the entire family. Much is lost.
As a mother, my grief would build up as I tried to take care of the rest of my family despite what our son was putting us through. I would eventually come to a point where I knew I had to let it out or bust.
I found that the best method for me was to get my husband off to work, my children off to school and take the phone off the hook. Then I would take the time to write, cry and pray and get some mourning done. By the time the family returned in the afternoon, I would have showered, applied make up and I'd be ready to "be there" for them.
Grief is work and must be worked through. Avoiding it or masking it with alcohol or drugs doesn't make it go away, it only postpones it. Grief postponed is grief that is magnified. Get it done as you go. It can't be avoided. You may think you can hold it in, but you can't. It will manifest itself phsically and it won't be pleasant.
More on that next time and in the interim, be good to yourself!
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